I can’t remember how it all started. But somehow, sitting on my grandmother’s back porch drinking lemonade, I was mesmerized by the big ole housefly that was buzz buzz buzzing around the petunias she had planted in little coffee cans all over the porch.

I would sip on my lemonade and sing to the fly as he buzzed buzzed buzzed.

At one point in my song (I made it up, something about purple flowers) the big old housefly flew right into my mouth and on the next inhale, he went right down my throat.

Holy heck. I coughed and coughed. I thought about drinking down the rest of my lemonade but didn’t want him to stay in my tummy forever (I was, like, four), so I started crying and punching my stomach, just hoping the fly would come out.

Finally, my grandmother came running out the back door and picked me up. “What happened?”

I don’t think I made a bit of sense at first, blubbering and full of snot, but eventually I got it out that I’d swallowed a big ole house fly and right now, it was buzz buzz buzzing inside me. “Would it buzz forever? Was I going to die?”

My grandmother smiled and sat down into the white wicker rocker she kept on the back porch. She pulled me tight against her as I sat on her lap. “Now, Heather, I want you to listen to me closely, okay?”

I nodded, tears and snot smeared all over my face.

“I know you’re worried about your tummy. But tell me, can you feel it buzz buzz buzzing in there right now?”

I thought hard and held my breath, listening for the buzzing. But all was silent.

“No, gramma,” I said. “Is it dead?”

I remember that her eyes got real wide and she laughed. “Oh no dear. It’s not dead. It wouldn’t be good to have a dead thing inside you, now would it.”

I shook my head, not understanding anything at all.

“So we’re going to coax the big old house fly right out of your belly so he can live a long clean life out here by my petunias. Okay?”

I nodded.

“Now,” she said, “this happens to me all the time, you know.” She reached into the pocket of her long, green dress and pulled out what looked like a plump black button.

She smiled. “Sweetie, now open wide, and take this spider…”